


Mans Not Hot

by orphan_account



Category: It - All Media Types
Genre: Dorks in Love, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Hand Jobs, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, gratuitous use of the phrase 'i love you'
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2018-03-17
Packaged: 2019-04-03 16:42:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14000289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Eddie confesses to Richie about his fear of sex. Determined to help him get over his fear, Richie lends him a hand - in more ways than one. He gives him a hand job, that's the joke. Richie gives Eddie a hand job.





	Mans Not Hot

**Author's Note:**

> fsdkjag i found this 80% written in my drafts so i finished it. hope you like it!

It happened like this. They spent the night, their respective roommate went to bed, they watched a movie, or two. And sometimes (most times,) things would get heated. Maybe it’d start with a lingering touch on a thigh, or a long look, or running their fingers through hair, but it would always end with hushed giggling and stumbled tip toeing to their bedroom.

Richie fell back onto his bed, Eddie quick to follow. He straddled his thighs and pressed kisses down his jaw. Richie turned his head to catch his lips, grinning too wide to do it properly and making Eddie kiss his too large teeth.

“Mm, love you,” he muttered, and Eddie smiled.

“I love  _you_ ,” he answered. Richie loosely wrapped his arms around Eddie’s waist, fingers locked together, and touched their foreheads together.

“How much?”

“Eh.” They both snorted. He put his hands on Richie’s cheeks and gave a chaste kiss to his smiling lips. “I love you,” another kiss, “more,” another, “and more,” one more, “every day.” Richie hummed high in his throat and tightened his hold around his waist. He leaned forward to pull Eddie into a deeper kiss, languid and slow. It was soft, full of tongue and love; he could feel Eddie’s pulse through the palms of his hands and every exhale through his nose.

Eddie moved his hands to Richie’s hair, carded through it with extra attention paid to avoiding snags. Then, with no warning, he took handfuls of his curls and  _yanked_. Richie gave a yelp that quickly devolved into a moan, accidentally biting Eddie’s tongue in the process.

“Shit--” he laughed, and Eddie buried his ugly snorts into Richie’s shoulder. He gave Eddie’s ass a playful squeeze. Eddie spread his legs wider, put more pressure on their half hard dicks. He started pressing open mouthed kisses to his neck, teeth scraping over sensitive skin and wet heat lighting him on fire. “Baby, baby, baby,” Richie whined, nosing at the side of his face. He moved his hands down his thighs, moved them back up and under his flannel pyjama shorts. “C’mere, wanna kiss you.”

“Nerd,” Eddie teased, but heeded his request regardless. It was more heated than the last, more passionate. Their noses bumped together, Richie’s glasses were squashed between them, Eddie took his kiss swollen lip between his teeth and pulled. Richie moaned, dug his fingers into his hips to pull him down and grind up against him. Eddie let out a breathless whine and pressed their lips harder together, fistfuls of Richie’s hair tangled around his fingers.

And it was fine, it was  _nice_ , until Richie’s fingers slipped under Eddie’s boxer briefs, and Eddie went rigid. Eddie’s hands tightened on his hair hard enough to hurt, and he would’ve gotten further into it if he hadn’t noticed it was the only part of him that moved.

“Shi-  _yyy-youch_ , Eds--” Richie removed his hands completely, raised in surrender as he winced. “I didn’t mean to make you unco--”

“Sorry!” Eddie promptly snapped out of it and let go of Richie’s hair, his hands pulled close to his chest. He leaned to one side and moved off of his lap. “I’m sorry, I’m such a--  _ugh_ , I’m sorry,” he said. Richie shifted himself as subtlety has was possible and shifted to face Eddie.

“It’s alright, dorkus,” he assured, voice light only because he was anxious himself. Eddie reached over and intertwined their fingers. “At the risk of sounding like an insecure teenage girl,” he said, ducking to meet Eddie’s eyes, “are we ever gonna… I mean, it’s not like I expect-- okay.” He laughed and rolled his shoulders. “I jus- we’re never fuckin’, uh, ‘ _intimate_ ,’ and we never talked about it, but I j- I need to know, is it because of me? Or… something?”

“Jesus Christ, no,” Eddie said quickly, shuffling closer to Richie. He held both of his hands and kissed his knuckles, let them rest in his lap with their fingers twisted together. “You- you’re amazing, and it’s not you, baby, never you.”

“Then what the fuck is the deal, dude?” Richie asked desperately, and gave Eddie’s hands a squeeze. “Sorry, that-- that sounded awful,” he said.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it,” he said. He looked away from Richie, at the ceiling and his dusty curtains and their joined hands. “I’ll tell you, but if you laugh, I’m beating your ass.” He gave Richie a level look.

“Deal, of course, shit, anything.”

“Okay.” Eddie took a deep breath. “I’m… scared.”

“Of  _sex?_ ”

“No, Richie, of the Easter Bunny-- yes of  _sex_ , God.”

“Alright, alright,” Richie said, leaning away from Eddie and muttering  _touchy_  under his breath. He thumbed over the joints in Eddie’s fingers. “Why didn’t you fuckin’ tell me?”

“Because it’s  _embarrassing?_ ” Eddie slumped. “I mean, who’s scared of sex, it’s like, the most-- the fucking, like, easiest, most natural thing a person can do. And I keep thinking, ‘I’m gonna do it! I can do this!’ and then it gets down to it and it’s this overwhelming and intense, like,  _thing_ , and i just--” he cut himself off with a frustrated sigh. Richie furrowed his eyebrows together and frowned. He pulled his hands out of Eddie’s grasp, and Eddie gave him a troubled look and reached for him again, but Richie just smiled at him and got off the bed.

“You’re fine,” he assured. He unplugged his phone from the wall and scrolled through his Spotify, tongue between his teeth as he compiled a playlist.

“What’re you doing?” Richie grinned.

“I’m gonna try something, but you gotta trust me,” he said. Eddie gave him a skeptical look, but tried his best to relax and leaned back on his hands. Richie connected his phone to the bluetooth speakers in his room and pressed play.

The opening chords of  _strip that down_  started playing.

Richie swung his hips to the beat and popped his shoulders, but the thing was,  _Richie couldn’t dance_. He never could. He was a gangly ball of elbows and left feet with no natural rhythm. Eddie barked out a laugh and watched Richie muss his own hair and whip it back out of his face.

“What in the  _fuck--?_ ”

“We’re having fun, Eds!” Richie spoke over him, doing an awkward pop and lock. He smiled wide and sauntered back to the bed. “Sex doesn’t have to be this, fuckin’, daunting, intimidating thing,” he said. “It’s about having fun,” he pressed lightly on Eddie’s shoulders to get him on his back, “and being comfortable.” He maneuvered between Eddie’s legs and sat back on his heels. He tapped out the beat on Eddie’s stomach until the muscles there relaxed. “And I happen to be an expert in fun.”

“You’re such an idiot,” Eddie said, smile clear as day in his voice.

“But I’m  _your_  idiot,” he sang, and they both laughed. He fixed his glasses, askew from his dancing. “Before we start, my love,” he said, “can I trust you to stop me if you’re uncomfortable?”

“Duh,” Eddie promised.

“Nice.” Richie leaned down and connected their lips. Eddie took a deep breath and returned it without hesitation. He moved his hands up Richie’s arms, resting one on his jaw and the other on the back of his neck. Richie nipped Eddie’s lower lip and placed his hands just above his knees, trailing his hands up his legs and putting extra pressure on his inner thighs with his thumbs. He tensed, but didn’t ask to stop; he only put more energy into the kiss, eyes shut tight and eyebrows pulled together. Eddie licked into his open mouth, pulling him closer with a shaky exhale through his nose. A groan rumbled in his chest when Richie sucked on his tongue.

Richie squeezed Eddie’s inner thighs just below where they met at his crotch and broke off their kiss to catch his breath. Eddie pressed sloppy kisses down his jaw, sucked red hot marks into the sensitive skin of his neck.

“ _Fuck_.” He ground his hips down, eyes flicking upwards at the feeling. Eddie moaned in response, tugging gently on the hair at the back of Richie’s neck. “We,” he huffed, pressed a kiss to Eddie’s temple, “we’re gonna try something, alright?”

“Mm,” was all he got, and Richie combed his fingers through Eddie’s hair.

“Can you say yes or no?”

“ _Yes_ , Richie,” he said with amused exasperation. Richie smiled and kissed down Eddie’s neck, skated his lips down his clothed torso. He pulled his shirt up and bit at the skin below his navel and carefully hooked his fingers into the waistband of his pyjama shorts. He looked up to Eddie for permission. At his nod, Richie started to pull them down and off inch by inch to the tune of  _suit and tie_ , currently playing on the speakers. Eddie, ever impatient, kicked at Richie’s chest with the balls of his feet. Richie laughed and caught his ankles to make him still.

“Don’t be  _naughty_ ,” he teased, some semblance of scolding in his voice.

“Oh? What’re you gonna do?” Eddie wasn’t as flirty as he was challenging, but there was still that warbled shake in his voice that he only got when he was anxious. Richie sat back and pretended to think on it, idly moving Eddie’s legs like a puppet.

“Hmm, I dunno, maybe, uh--  _this_ ,” before Eddie could react Richie grabbed him by the backs of his knees, pulled him into his lap, and then dug his fingers into his ribs. He sucked in a gasp and dug his heels into the mattress to push himself away, but Richie chased him until he was pinned between his boyfriend and the headboard.

“ _No no no no no-- Richard--!_ ” He squealed and tried to bat at Richie’s hands, but it didn’t deter him in the slightest and he tickled his sides, his armpits, that place right by his elbow that was always so sensitive. He leaned down and blew wet raspberries onto Eddie’s neck and collarbones until he was hysterical in his laughter. He shouted a litany of curses in Richie’s ear and punched his chest, but for the moment it seemed he didn’t mind he was in his underwear, in bed, pinned under another man, and that was all Richie cared about.

Richie eased up and pressed one last solid kiss to his neck. Eddie panted like he’d run a mile and glared at him, but the smile plastered on his face didn’t falter for a second. He reached out and tugged Richie closer by his shirt and shifted his hips up so his back wasn’t at such a weird angle. Richie let his hands come to rest on Eddie’s hips and rubbed circles into them with his thumbs. When Eddie was too out of breath to kiss him he settled himself with bumping his nose against his jawline.

“You’re so handsome,” he said, bringing his hands up Richie’s sides, feeling the bony curves of his ribs, the bump just under the skin at his collarbone where he broke his clavicle when they were seventeen, his sharp shoulders that never filled out. Richie leaned into the touch, relaxing under each gentle press of Eddie’s fingertips. “I love you.” He turned his head to kiss the shell of Richie’s ear, the only thing he could reach.

“I love  _you_ ,” Richie answered. He moved his hands over Eddie’s ribs, passed feather light over his stomach, moved them back down his pelvis, palmed his thighs. He didn’t flinch, a plus. “Hey, Eds, you ever thought about us fucking?” That did it. “It’s okay if you have. I have.”

“I-I, I, yeah, I have,” he said awkwardly. Richie hummed.

“Tell me about it.”

“ _What_?”

“Your vivid sexual fantasies, Eds, tell me about them.”

“What the f-- why do you want to hear them so bad?”

“ _Because_ ,” he said, like it was obvious, “you’re scared. There’s no way we’re, like, actually dicking down just yet. But talking about it is a step closer to getting there.” Eddie leveled him with a cotton soft look, and he melted under his gaze, just for a moment. Then he snapped Eddie’s waistband and said, “plus, it’d be  _so_  sexy, like,  _hoo_.” He fanned himself, and Eddie slapped him with his own hand.

“Fine, what-what do you want to hear?”

“Hm,” Richie played with the hem of Eddie’s boxers, “how about how it usually starts out?” Eddie shifted his hips and bit his thumbnail.

“I guess it just starts with making out, like we always do,” he said. “Then it gets more… intense, y’know, with touching and stuff.”

“Touching, like…?” Richie made a line up Eddie’s half hard cock with the pad of his thumb, and he shivered.

“Yeah,” he breathed. Richie rested his cheek on Eddie’s thigh, turning his head to press a kiss to the flushed skin.

“What’s next?”

“W-uh, Well, usually we sss-start, uh,” he swallowed thickly, “we start… taking off our clothes. Sometimes I-I-I-uhm, I--” he covered his face with his hands and let out a nervous giggle.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed, baby,” he assured, moving his hand in circles over Eddie’s hip. “What do you do?”

“Suck your dick,” he blurted, face turning into a before now undiscovered shade of red. Richie’s eyebrows shot into his hairline in surprise, and his lips broke into a grin.

“ _Really?_ ” He asked, putting on a high posh voice, and Eddie snorted.

“Yeah.”

“I bet you’d look so fucking hot like that,” he said, just barely brushing his knuckles against Eddie’s shaft, “your mouth taking my cock so nice.” His thigh tensed under Richie’s cheek, and he went to apologize - until he let out a pleasured little noise.

“Richie…”  he whispered, reaching out to twist a strand of hair around his fingers.

“Do you like it when I say stuff like that?” He asked. Eddie let out another little noise, tugging on his hair just slightly. “Yes or no.”

“ _Yes_ , god yes,” he said quietly.

“Good, ‘cause I love saying it.” Richie grinned and nipped the inside of his thigh. “Mm, I can just imagine it, the way your soft lips would feel on me, those doe eyes looking up at me when you’re on your knees.” He bit his lip and hummed, fully stroking Eddie’s cock through his boxers, which were growing damp from the precum leaking from his tip.

“I’d love to watch you when I do,” he admitted, voice shaky and nervous. Richie gave his hip a comforting squeeze, eyes trained on him. “To see you come apart and know it was because of me.” Heat shocked through his hips, sending electricity up his spine, and Richie outright  _moaned_. He couldn’t believe he’d been missing out on  _this_ , these thoughts, that fucking mouth. He rolled his hips down against the bed, painfully hard and searching for any kind of friction.

“Jeezum, Eds,” he said tightly, his grip on Eddie’s hips bordering on harsh. He took in Eddie’s parted lips, his tensed shoulders, how his nostrils flared from how much effort he was putting into keeping his breathing steady, his glassy, lustful eyes. “You are so fucking beautiful.”

“Shut up,” he said, furrowing his eyebrows together in embarrassment.

“Nuh-uh, I mean it.” Richie hooked his fingers into the waistband of Eddie’s boxers and gave them a short pull, not enough to pull them down. “Can I?”

“Yes,” Eddie answered. He moved his hips to help Richie take them off. And, for the first time, he put his hand on his boyfriend’s cock.

Richie gave the base a tentative touch, thumbing over the sensitive vein underneath, eyes flicking up to watch how Eddie would react. He bunched up the covers in his hands, his jaw tensed, and his hips bucked up against the touch. Richie took it a step further, moving his palm up over the head to gather the precum collected there, slicking up the shaft so he could stroke down to the base and back up again.

“Rich, fuck,” he whined, biting his kiss swollen lip. Richie traced under the head and twisted his wrist, letting Eddie thrust up into his hand.

“You’re so hot, baby, worked up like this just from a little touching,” he said, meeting Eddie’s upward thrusts with downwards strokes of his hand. He ran his thumb over the slit, giving the tip a gentle little squeeze. Eddie cried out, his head tossed back against the pillows. “You gonna come?” Richie asked, grinning wide when he pressed his lips together and let out a strained  _mhmm_ , nodding rapidly.

Richie sped up his strokes and bit Eddie’s inner thigh. He choked, back arching just slightly, hips rocking up into his hand. He reached out, making a little grabby motion. For a moment Richie was confused - Eddie liked pulling his hair, but it was perfectly in reach - and his heart skipped a beat when he realized that he wanted to hold his hand. He gave him his free hand, intertwining their fingers, and it didn’t take more than a moment further for him to go over the edge. Eddie spilled over his hand, cum collecting in the web of his thumb and forefinger and dribbling over the back of his hand. When he was finished riding out his orgasm, he wiped the mess off on his shirt and discarded it.

He watched Eddie come down from his post-orgasmic bliss, breathing just a little heavier but the most relaxed he’d been during the entire ordeal. Richie found his boxers on the bed, gently pulling them back on, careful with the fabric on his sensitive skin. He kissed his tummy. “So?” He asked, “How was it?” Eddie beckoned for him, smiling when they were finally on the same level. He pulled him into a deep kiss, soft and chaste.

“Considering I came to  _mans not hot_ , objectively terrible,” he said. Richie scoffed, and he started to laugh. “But seriously, really, really good. You…” he let out a soft sigh, and cupped Richie’s face, “you’re so perfect, baby. I’m sorry I never talked to you before, I don’t even know why I was so scared, now. I should’ve known it would’ve been as amazing as everything else I’m lucky enough to do with you.” Richie watched him with a smile, giving him a soft look reserved exclusively for him, in moments like these.

“I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you more.”

“Absolutely not, take it back.”

“Fuck you.”

They both laughed, noses scrunched and eyes squeezed closed. Their amusement started to ebb into comfortable silence. They cuddled sleepily, exchanging slow kisses and trailing their hands over skin. Eddie hummed to grab Richie’s attention, rubbing his hip with the palm of his hand.

“You didn’t come,” he said, voice light and cautious. Richie scoffed and carded his fingers through Eddie’s hair.

“That doesn’t matter.” He kissed his cheek. “We had fun, right?”

“Definitely,” he said, “but…”

“But?”

“If you wanted to, not that it’s-- it’s not -  _necessary_ , or, whatever,” he looked at Richie through his eyelashes, “you could come on my face.” Richie’s eyes widened. He grimaced when his dick twitched against Eddie’s thigh and he started to laugh at him.

“Are y-- you’re serious?”

“If you want to, then yeah.” Eddie rested his head in his hand. “I wanna make you feel as good as you made me feel.” Richie groaned and covered his face with his hands, dramatically peeking out at Eddie through his fingers.

“How did I find the perfect man?” He asked, voice muffled. Eddie snorted and slipped off the bed, kneeling right beside it. He patted the bed right in front of him to encourage Richie to sit, which he did.

Eddie fit perfectly between his thighs, smiling at him as he pulled the knot of his pyjama bottoms loose. He delicately pulled out Richie’s cock, flushed and still rock hard. He let out a fortifying breath and mirrored Richie’s movements, gathering the slick precum at the tip and smearing it along his shaft. Richie hummed high in his throat, heat tightening in his groin. 

Just watching him, hand around his cock, stroking carefully yet with the clear intention of making him come, so totally focused on doing it right, was more arousing than any porno he’d ever seen. This was  _Eddie_ , the love of his life, and he was looking up at him between tentative flicks of his wrist to ensure he was doing something Richie liked. He thrusted his hips up into Eddie’s hand. The leaden ball wound tight in his stomach was reaching its breaking point.

He caught Richie’s eyes, and pressed a soft kiss to the tip. That was it for him, and he struggled to keep his eyes open and focused on Eddie as his orgasm hit him all at once. Richie groaned, having to give Eddie’s hand a light smack to stop him from stroking him any further.

“Wow,” he breathed, trying to lock down the sight of him in his memory. His cum painted Eddie’s face, over his plush lips, his nose, his sharp cheekbones and his eyelashes. Eddie swiped his tongue over his lips, licking up Richie’s cum. “ _Wow_ ,” Richie said again, because he was pretty sure he wasn’t  _capable_  of anything else at that point.

“Who knew getting you to stop talking was this easy,” he said, and Richie snickered.

“You’re gonna do this every time I run my mouth? I thought you weren’t supposed to reward bad behavior.”

“Are you asking me to  _punish_  you?”

“Are you offering to?”

**Author's Note:**

> leave kudos, comments, bookmarks, whatever you think is necessary.  
> remember you can always catch me on my tumblr [@clavarioid](http://clavarioid.tumblr.com/)  
> 


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